When Death Is Near

“Grief is so
painfully real, regardless of its origin. The love of,

and attachment to,
an animal friend can equal that of human relationships.

Likewise, the loss
of an animal can be just as devastating.”
Rev. Joel L. Morgan

Hello friends:

The following post is taken from the new eBook that will be coming out soon on grieving the loss of a pet. We will keep you posted. 

The stories that have come in from people just like you have been incredible.

One of the toughest
communications for some people is to how to offer sympathy.  That is why so many people say nothing at
all.  It is not that they are uncaring,
rather they care so much, they don’t want to add to your pain or make you feel
worse.

I was surprised at how many
of the submissions I received talked about lack of support in the
workplace.  Then I remembered twenty
years ago when my brother JAllen was killed in a horrible industrial accident.

Working at a local weekly
newspaper at the time, my boss was also a friend and the workplace had felt
like extended family.  And yet, two weeks
after the funeral, I was called in and told to “snap out of it.”

Gordon actually looked me
right in the eye and said; “Enough already! 
How long are you going to grieve? 
We have a paper to put out.”

I told him that I would
probably grieve for the rest of my natural life and to check back with me in a
few years when he had lost someone precious to him.

I have often wondered how he handled grief when it came to his journey of life.

My best to you and if you are sad today, please know that you are never alone.  I am sending you warm thoughts and prayers.

Love, Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author

Hello friends from all over the world.

End-of-life
care is commonly referred to as palliative care. This care is usually done by a
team of healthcare professionals, as well as the patient’s family.  It focuses on management of physical symptoms
and emotional support to both the family and the patient.

Usually the over riding
goal of palliative care is caring for patients, rather than curing an illness,
if there has been a terminal diagnosis. Choosing palliative care does not mean
that patients must stop seeking a cure for their condition.

As death becomes more
imminent, attempts to cure the disease taper off, while palliative care
measures increase.

We encourage families and
care givers to continue acting as advocates for their loved one, to ensure that
their needs and wishes are being met and respected.

Please know that where ever you are today and what ever you may be going through, I am holding you in my thoughts and prayers.  You are not alone.

Love, Judy H. Wright

Hello from beautiful Montana;

Just want to tell you that the eBook on Greiving the Loss of a Pet is almost done.  Summer and life keep getting in the way of my writing time.

The submissions from animal lovers has been incredible.  I will share another one here.

Tiger

Hello,

I don’t know if you would be interested
in my story or not.  My cat has not died
yet but more than likely we will put him to sleep in a few days.  But my cat Tiger is five years old. In
December 2007 he developed a mass on his neck that my older son found.  I took him to the vet and they tried to
biopsy it but to no avail.  Once it
started interfering with his eating about a two months later I took him back to
the vet and had them just remove it. 
They sent it off and it came back malignant-cancer- large cell
lymphoma.  If I opted to do nothing then
he had until June to live- 3 months.  I
couldn’t see spending money for chemo just to extend his life for a few
months. 

So, June has come and gone and he has deteriorated in
the last few days.  So… I was told by
the vet (who is a good acquaintance of mine). Others acted sympathetic cause
Tiger is such a sweet cat.  I had many
people tell me to go ahead and put him to sleep.  My problem is I feel like if I do then I am
cutting his life short.  However, he is
at the point now that I don’t think he can really go on.  I plan on having him cremated. I will more
than likely buy a brick to go into a memorial garden that our vet has. 

What has helped me to heal?  I think just knowing he will be pain free
will give me peace enough.  At this
point, he has a bad ear infection and the vet gave me antibiotics for him. His
head is tilted and cannot walk. I have to pick him up and put him in the litter
box for him to use it. He eats maybe once a day. I have watched a lively cat go
down to nothing in a couple of weeks.  It
is extremely sad.

 I am not happy
because we took him to the vet the day before yesterday to have him put to
sleep and the vet convinced me to give him antibiotics for his ear and see if
that helps.  Good grief! He has cancer!
He won’t get better. It is hard to convince myself to shove pills down his
throat when he doesn’t want to move.  I
think this is all in vain.

Thanks-

Ellen, Tiger’s Mom

Hello from beautiful Montana:

Thanks for being in my community of support and allowing me to join yours. 

Recently when I was at the doctor’s office for a checkup on a small growth on my eyelid, I picked up a magazine in the waiting room.  It is called CURE-Cancer Updates, Research and Education.

It was packed with information on new methods of treatment for many different kinds of cancer.

This quarterly magazine is free for cancer patients, survivors and caregivers.  I recommend that if you or someone you know who would benefit that you call them at 800-210-CURE

or write to CURE 3102 Oak Lawn Ave, Suite 610, Dallas, TX 75219 USA

Cancer has enough problems, it is nice to know there are avenues out there offering information and hope.

Good luck and God Bless,

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke

PS:  I do hope you have signed up for the Artichoke-finding the heart in the journey of life  this is the ezine that comes to your in-box occasionally with great news, stories and articles to help you enhance family relationships.  Sign up at HTTP://www.ArtichokePress.com  While you are there, check out the free teleclasses each Thursday on Family Relationship topics.  There are bound to be some that were created just for you.

PPS: Or even better–sign up at http://www.UseEncouragingWords.com  and get a free eBook on communication for positive results.

Hello from beautiful Montana:

As a parent educator, I
encourage parents who did not receive great relationship training in their
youth to look to animals as mentors.  If
more parents would greet their children at the door with love and acceptance in
their eyes, whole being expressing eagerness to be touched, patted and played
with, family relationships would grow to a new level.

A pet’s non verbal
language is unconditional love and forgiveness. 
Their love is not dependent on grades, promotions, or soccer
scores.  Even if you were grouchy
yesterday, they forgive easily.

They are loyal, funny,
kind, and irreverent like you wish you could be in public, trusting, reliable,
dependable, and love to play games, easily satisfied and great listeners. They
never share your secrets or judge you. 
They tolerate your idiosyncrasies and put up with your moods.  All in all, they are great friends and
companions.

We form interdependent
relationships with our pets.  They may
depend on us for food, lodging, occasional hug or trip to the vet.  But we depend on them to be our best friends.

No wonder we miss them
when they are gone.

I am enjoying writing a new ebook called Death of My Pet, which will be released in the near future.

It is a compilation of stories from people who have lost their pets and the impact it had on their lives. Be sure to sign up to receive the Artichoke- our ezine and you will be notified when it is ready.  You will love reading it.  It has really been a humbling experience to write it.

May your day be filled with joy and abundance.

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, the story telling trainer.  Http://www.ArtichokePress.com and http://www.AskAuntieArtichoke.com

Don’t forget, you are always invited to a free teleclass every Thursday on some aspect of family relationships.  Sign up on the website.

Hello from beautiful Montana:

I am going to share a few of the incredible stories that have come in for the new eBook I am writing.  You will enjoy hearing how others have coped with loss.

Sandy, one of the many contributors, wanted
to share this sweet story.

The Meaning of Life

Being a veterinarian, I had been called
to examine a ten year old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s Owners, Ron,
his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker
and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was
dying of cancer.

 I told the family.  We couldn’t do anything for Belker, and
offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home. As
we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for
the four year old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane
might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch
in my throat as Belker’s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting
the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going
on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed
to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat
together for a while after Belker’s death, wondering aloud about the sad fact
that animal lives are shorter than human lives.

Shane, who had been listening quietly,
piped up, “I know why.” Startled, we all turned to him. What came out
of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation.

He
said, “People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life  - like loving everybody all the time and
being nice, right?”

The four year old continued, “Well, dogs already
know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”

Author Unknown

If you would like to learn how to communicate more effectively both verbally and verbally, please accept my gift of a free eBook at http://www.UseEncouragingWords.com  and remember to join our free teleclass each Thursday.  Sign up at http://www.ArtichokePress.com

Good morning from beautiful Montana;

I want to share another wonderful submission that came in for the Death of My Pet, which will be done soon (I hope)

The stories have so humbled me and touched my soul.

Miracles happen when people open their hearts to share their deepest feelings.  Read on.

There once was a girl who couldn’t walk, couldn’t talk and couldn’t even feed herself. She couldn’t move at all–except to smile. And she smiled about everything! She smiled when her sister brushed her long, brown hair, she smiled when her father pushed her along a bumpy, gravel path, and she smiled when her mother drove her around in the red convertible with the top down. She even smiled when she had her hair cut short so it could be donated to a sick girl who had lost her own. In fact, she smiled so much her teacher gave her a “Best Smiling” award at school.

The girl’s name was Elizabeth and she had cerebral palsy—her muscles just didn’t work.  Everyone liked her because she never said anything unkind, yet no one knew what she was really thinking. She was mysterious! But sometimes Elizabeth wished that she wasn’t so mysterious, that she had a true companion–one who could understand her, or at least sit beside her on the couch to keep her company.

Then one day, Elizabeth’s mother called an animal shelter and told the keeper, “I have a daughter who can’t play with a frisky dog. I would like an older, lazy one who wants to lie on the couch all day. Do you have one like that?”

“Ma’am, I not only have a couch potato here, but he’s the whole sack of potatoes!” The dog’s name was Riley. His owner had left him there because he couldn’t take care of him anymore.

Elizabeth’s mother brought him home and patted the couch, letting him know he could jump up on it next to Elizabeth. So he did just that.

Riley was big and hairy. Even though he was only five years old, he weighed 100 pounds. Even though Elizabeth was 11, she weighed only 40! Riley looked like a clumsy old black bear next to Elizabeth, but he was gentle. He knew how to jump on the couch and find a spot without stepping on her.

Although Elizabeth and Riley were very different on the outside, they seemed to be alike on the inside–they both loved to sit on the couch and watch cartoons. The only problem was that neither one could talk, or operate the remote control, so they had to wait for Elizabeth’s family to change the channels.

Riley would curl up next to Elizabeth for hours, and never leave her to do silly things like wash the dishes as her mother did. He didn’t leave her to mow the lawn or do homework. And Riley was happy that Elizabeth
didn’t run away from his bad breath. When Riley panted “Hello” in people’s faces, everyone turned away and said, “Yuk,” but not Elizabeth. She wasn’t afraid of his doggy smells. She smiled when his hot breath hit her nose.

But Elizabeth was afraid of the cold–she couldn’t keep herself warm like other children who could jump up and down or ask for a blanket. Since Riley had two coats of fur, one short and thick, one longer and shaggy, he wasn’t afraid of the cold at all. One day, the temperature dropped slightly and Elizabeth’s little feet began to turn purple. Riley understood what was happening. Without being told what to do, he carefully laid across them. His weight and warmth made Elizabeth feel so good she smiled. Riley was glad–he not only had a couch, but he had someone who needed him. And Elizabeth’s family was happy too—she finally had a companion who understood her.

Elizabeth and Riley grew older together on the couch for several years. Then one day, Elizabeth
passed away. Riley was never truly happy after that and he passed away a year later. His ashes were spread over Elizabeth’s grave—now they are forever keeping each other company.

End Note: Elizabeth’s disabilities were caused by congenital cytomegalovirus (CMV)–the #1 viral cause of birth defects–more common than Down syndrome. Women of child-bearing age need to learn how to avoid it during pregnancy. Please see my Web site at www.authorlisasaunders.com to read more about Elizabeth and CMV prevention, or visit http://www.cdc.gov/cmv/. My soon to be released book, ANYTHING BUT A DOG!, is the comedy and tragedy of life with Elizabeth and her dog Riley.

Hello from beautiful Montana:

Once again, I would like to share a few of the remarkable stories that have been contributed for the upcoming eBook  Death of My Pet.  I am humbled  by the stories and the people who are willing to share their sorrow in support of others.

Be sure to keep checking at http://www.ArtichokePress.com for the launch of the eBook.

“The last pet I lost was the dog of my heart. From the time he was 9 years old he had chronic relapsing pancreatitis. He had an enlarged heart as he grew older, and mitral valve disease. A Yorkshire Terrier, he also had a collapsing trachea. And, lest I forget, irritable bowel syndrome.  He was, to the AKC, Ch. Cap’n Ebenezer of . But he was always my Neezie.

He was nearly 17 when I had no choice but to put him down. He told me it was time.  I gave him the last gift I could — release.  I held him in my arms in a darkened room at my veterinarian’s hospital. She gave us a few moments alone. And then she put him down while I held him. My heart shattered into so many pieces I doubt that I will ever find all of the shards. We communicated so well, the bond was so strong that it defies words.

I drove in pouring rain, through blinding tears, to bury him with his canine family in his breeder’s Oriental
Garden. He was buried with his beloved Pooh Bear who went everywhere with him.  It was tucked under his arm for that final journey.

Warmly,

Darlene

Darlene Arden, CABC
Journalist/Author/Speaker
www.darlenearden.com
Author of “The Angell Memorial Animal Hospital Book of Wellness and Preventive Care for Dogs,” “Unbelievably Good Deals and Great Adventures That You Absolutely Can’t Get Unless You’re a Dog,” “Small Dogs, Big Hearts,” and “Rover, Get Off Her Leg!”

Keywords: Death of my dog, grieving, loss of a pet,canine, dogs, heart,big heart, Darlene Arden, Judy H. Wright, Artichoke Press, Montana