Saying Goodbye to a Loved One Who is Dying
Standing at the bedside of a
parent or friend who is in the process of transitioning out of this
life is not an experience most people prepare for and many find
overwhelming. You can be so traumatized that you neglect the
opportunity to tell that person how you truly feel. Sharing and
listening can be a final gift to your loved one. It can also be a great
spiritual experience if you are open with statements and ministrations
of love and best wishes.
is the last sense to go. Elicit the cooperation of others in making the
passage a sacred event, by verbally sharing happy memories and stories. Focus
the sounds of voices on making gentle conversation. There might be soft
background music but turn off the TV or radio. Do not expect a response
from the dying because their limited energy is involved in important
work.
Acknowledge the positive aspects of your loved one’s legacy. Take turns listing the gifts and lessons the dying person has given to you and to the world. This is a time to reassure them that they will not be forgotten and that his or her life had value.
and acknowledge the special times, talents, and teachings you have
shared. Search your memory for good times, but don’t look for the major
moments, rather the small, insignificant at the time moments, that you
remember. This is a final acknowledgment of the
gifts that the dying has given the living and neither the gift nor the
person will be forgotten. Use this time to express gratitude and
reassurance that these legacies will live on for generations.
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