Forgiveness is not Forgetting
Forgiveness is not Forgetting
Angry, resentful, hurt, stressed and unforgiving? These emotions are prime causes for
unhappiness and disease. If you are
holding onto situations from the past, it is in your best interest to resolve
them or let them go.
Life regularly presents us with reasons to be unhappy, ranging
from people who assault or hurt us or our loved ones to petty disagreements
with neighbors.
Sooner or later, depending on the extent of the injury or
our perception of the incident, we are usually able to move beyond hurtful
incidents. But, depending on the help we
receive or how willing we are to let it go, it may take permanent residence in
our hearts and minds.
We may mentally replay situations where we felt treated
unfairly over and over again. This
grudge or feeling on injustice that churns in our “monkey brain” or self talk, creating stress and increased blood pressure and
heart rate.
What is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness means letting go of anger or resentment. It can also be accompanied by greater empathy
or “humanizing” for the point of view of the person who has harmed us.
It does not mean denying harm or ill will from the
offender. It also does not necessarily
mean that you allow the person back into your life or even ever speak directly
to them again. It does not mean to deny
the incident happened or that you were hurt.
It does mean that you have made a choice to not let it continue to hurt
you.
Forgiveness is a
skill
Like any other skill, whether it is riding a bike, playing a
piano or developing confidence, it takes practice and time.
By taking the time to examine negative thoughts and
patterns-perhaps writing them down, you can begin to see that some of distorted
and need to be reframed. You can refocus
on what went right and that you will use the incident as a learning experience,
rather than a stumbling block in your journey of life.
Learn to examine the
old stories
If you would like additional information on how to develop
the skill of forgiveness, you are invited to go to http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com for an affordable eCourse. This eBook and extensive bonus items of self
help are offered by Judy H. Wright, a family coach and author of over 20 books.
She is also known as Auntie Artichoke,
the storytelling trainer.
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